Annually Retentive
2003-11-17

So... Prog 2004 is almost upon us, and the big question on every fan's lips is, "When Judge Dredd's falling off a building, does he think, 'Drokk! Got to twist myself around... Angle it so that I land shoulder-pad-first!'?"

No, I jest! The real question on every fan's lips is this: "Whatever happened to the old annuals?"

I miss the annuals. There was something extra-exciting about an annual: It wasn't just the thrill of seeing our favourite heroes in brand new adventures on thicker paper... There were text stories that we didn't read and interesting features on astronomy, space travel and real-life robots that we didn't read either. There were crosswords for us to fill in incorrectly in ink, and rather tame cartoons featuring little aliens in flying saucers. And a great glossy cover that - sometimes - was actually painted artwork - a step above the line-drawn stuff we were used to.

Plus, they were hardcover! That meant that you could put them on your knees and use them to lean on when drawing in bed. And if you didn't have any paper on which to draw, you could get out the giant plastic wallet of fifty marker pens your aunt got you for Christmas and you could colour in the black and white pages of the annual! The paper was even thick enough that most of the time the marker ink didn't go through.

But the annuals were also expensive. I don't know what the first one - in 1978 - cost, because for some stupid reason I clipped the price tag, but the 1979 annual cost £1.10. In those days the weekly comic cost about 9p, and if I recall correctly my weekly pocket money was only 20p.

Luckily, our local newsagent was kind enough to put the annuals aside for us; we'd give him ten pence a week until the annual was paid off. There was always a race to see who got it first! Annoyingly, there was a guy in school who was much weller-off than the rest of us, so when the annuals came out he got his immediately. The little swine would bring his into school and tease us with brief glimpses of the cover. But I guess that made it all the more exciting when we finally did get our own copies.

The cover of the first 2000 AD annual features a helmeted space-type hero being menaced by a green winged demon thingie. The hero has a red uniform with "DD" on the chest; the chances good are that he's not Daredevil, but Dan Dare. However, I only realised today that the demon thingie is supposed to be the alien Dare encounters in one of the interior strips... Twenty-six years it took me to figure that one out.

That first annual also features two rather disturbing scenes...

1. In the Harlem Heroes strip, the fans of the home team Berlin Blitzkriegs taunt the visiting Heroes by chanting "Booooooo! Hate! Hate!" Strange as that is, it's not so bad, but how do the German fans greet their home team? They shout "Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!"

2. There's a Judge Dredd strip in which we see the twin towers of the World Trade Centre being destroyed... (see right) So I'm guessing that we're not going to be seeing that particular Dredd tale reprinted any time soon.

Which brings me neatly on to reprints... Except for the very first one, the annuals were packed with them! The later annuals reprinted old 2000 AD strips, but the earlier ones dredged up stories from Grud-knows-where: The Phantom Patrol featured a WWII platoon who found some high-tech future gadgets that allowed them to get into all sorts of scrapes, while Guinea Pig was about a guy who was employed to test out crazy new inventions. At least, I think that those strips are reprints: there wasn't much in the way of creator's credits back in those days.

The old 2000 AD summer specials were similar to the annuals, but on a smaller scale and with worse paper... But they were important too: the very first - the "Summer Special Supercomic" - had a photo feature on a then-upcoming movie called Star Wars. I'd never even heard of the film at that time, so I was extremely impressed (the feature includes a photo of Han Solo that refers to him as "Luke Skywalker").

The following year it was renamed the "Sci-Fi Special", and it reprinted a very old Rick Random story. I absolutely loved it. Clever story, great gadgets, amazing artwork (it was also my very first introduction to the work of the man who became and remains my favourite author; Harry Harrison). This paved the way for a Rick Random revival in the weekly comic, with "The Riddle of the Astral Assassin"; a story that is regarded not at all highly.

There were also Rick Random reprints in the two Dan Dare annuals (1979 and 1980)... I didn't buy these at the time (I couldn't afford them), but I picked them up a few years later for thirty pence each in a bargain bin. The 1980 Dan Dare annual also features a story called "Garbage" which is, without question, one of the most honestly titled stories I have ever encountered. It's in breathtakingly bad taste, and if there's any justice it should come way at the top of any "worst story ever" poll.

The Judge Dredd annuals were a lot better: not only did they focus heavily on the great lawman himself, they also had more interesting - i.e., readable - features. I couldn't afford the earliest JD annuals when they came out, but I've managed to pick them up over the years. They're good stuff; more 2000 ADish than the first couple of 2000 AD annuals. That is, no articles on astronauts or "space stamps" (were kids really that interested in collecting stamps back in the 70s?).

The annuals disappeared in the early 1990s, but by then they'd gone all thin and were mostly filler material and reprints. They were replaced with "yearbooks" which were non-hardcover and the wrong shape.

And now even the yearbooks have gone, and in their place we have the yearly 100-page prog, and the big question on every fan's lips is, "When Judge Dredd is running down a corridor, how come his badge chain doesn't go 'clinky-clinky-clinky' and give away his position?"

No, I jest again! That was me just being senselessly lovely (and that was me being Stephen Fry). The real question - and one to which I don't have any good answer - is this: "What will happen in about thirteen years' time when the prog numbers actually catch up with 2000?"